Before the box was born, I was pregnant with it. I found this out many years ago, when my parents would yell and yell and yell about me, to me, concerning my grades, my future, my life, my career. Everything. So I went into the bath and tried to drown myself. The water willingly entered me, and I became pregnant with it. No one knew, and no one needed to know.
It was a painful pregnancy. I remember barely crawling out of bed the the tingles along my back and around my stomach, the swelling of my belly. I can't remember how I even managed that, but it passed by and I gave birth. The box naturally floated upward, and when I went to school, the box floated down and swallowed me whole.
When you look at it, it looks beautiful. Like a piece of art, vibrant colors and lines, all flowing. You can't miss it. It's a large floating cube! You can't see me in inside. I grow numb inside that box, and I let the colors eat me alive. It takes getting used to. I use to love the color orange and now it nibbles at my thigh. Once school ends, the box vomits and out I appear, brand new.
I sometimes watch my schoolmates as I am being eaten. It's a funny thing to watch. They are struggling, laughing, writing, stressing...and I am being eaten. It puts everything into a good perspective. My schoolmate longs to be a doctor. She works hard, never has time to think about strange thoughts like colorful floating cubes. She's a tough virgin, strong and sweet.
What do I long to be? Nothing! How silly, I am already dead. Though the cube is the only thing to acknowledge my existence, everything and everyone passes me by, a ghost. But I can't help but feel real when it devours me. Maybe this is why I still let it swallow me.
Some weeks later, I woke up from my box's supper and it had already puked me out. My schoolmate is there, walking past me. She doesn't see me, she walks through me in a hurry, but she turns around. I wonder if she notices the faint outline, the almost translucent silhouette. She squints and then shrugs. Nothing. She briefly looks up at the colourful box in the sky. It used to be such a sensation, that box. Where did it come from? Why is it there? SO many attempts to tear it down, to investigate it. They gave up when they couldn't do anything with it. It was just a stone in the sky, nothing significant. No reason, no purpose.
So many years pass and my schoolmate has already graduated. Why am I still in this box? Why can't I leave this school? The colours consume me, slowly at first, then violently, like lovemaking. I sometimes think that me and the colours are making love, everyday, without a sound. It's quiet and it leaves me breathless. When I'm done, they have already eaten everything. How greedy they are. This box that has no purpose or reason.
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